The Second to Last Word

Just to set the record straight once and for all. I am not angry. I am not an angry individual in the least. I may be peculiar and other adjectives may better suit me, but angry is not one of them. I am not here to plug my site, but if you go to my blog and read some of my blogs under “Religious Considerations” you might learn a little about me.

I would not say that I am angry with or even at god. That, to me, is just nonsense. It would be like be being angry at the Tooth Fairy or Santa Claus (also not real). I don’t want to get into a huge discussion here about my “walk” as it is called in certain circles. Suffice to say that I spent the better part of my youth (between the ages of 6 to about 19) LUI (Living Under the Influence) of religions. Plural. Not a typo. I was “born” into the Catholic persuasion of belief. I attended Catholic School from 1st grade to 4th grade. We then switched for logistic and economic reasons to a Baptist School that was much closer to home. I attended there from 4th to 6th after which I enter the public school system. There was a transitional period where we (mother and I) began attending a Presbyterian Church, which in hindsight, may have led to my mother enrolling me in the closest christian school to our house.

I became very involved in the church. I was in all the christmas and easter programs, the choir, the youth group, etc… As I got older I searched for a new church. I have met many christians that “outgrow” their church and move on. So I did. I found a church with a strong youth ministry and began again so to speak.

I charged through the ranks of the Youth Ministry and at one point became the leading youth lay-minister of the church. I would coordinate mission trips locally as well as internationally. I was knee deep. Waist deep. And of course then I became fully immersed. All the while I had questions. As I gained momentum (it is addictive if any of you have been in a similar situation you will be able to attest to the “high” of leading) my questions also grew. “Am I a fake?” “Do I even believe this?” “These kids and fellow youth must see right through me!”

I would speak to those in authority and of course it would lead to prayer and “laying of hands” and the whole flan (enchilada has been overused)! But the doubts I had as a young catholic and then a “born again” did not cease. In fact they increased instead.

I would lead the Bible studies on Friday nights as was the custom in the church. I would pore through the bible looking for something that would move and touch and be applicable. I would not have a hard time finding it. I came to realize that I would find ANY answer I WANTED to find. I realized that I would FIND meaning in just about every word. So that part of the job was easy. So easy, that I began doubting that ability. I would look around and I would be able to find the “love of god” in ANYTHING. That was fine. It worked. It worked for my audience and that should have been enough. It wasn’t enough for me. I was a fake.

As I read through the bible I realized many things that were not normally discussed. I questioned what I read as being real. I started seeing things I was not open to before once I took off my god goggles, if you will, and looked at it as an outsider. One of the things I will say helped me then and now fully understand BOTH sides of an argument and being able to defend both sides with evidence. This of course requires knowledge.

It was the last bible study I gave. The title was “Defending the Non-Believer”. I had just read To Kill a Mockingbird and was moved by Atticus’ attitude and belief in defending the un-defendable.

So I undertook a “character” change for the exercise. I removed the god goggles and read the bible as though I was a non-believer. To see what questions a non-believer might have. I started at the very beginning. I went straight through the death of Moses. I was in shock. I was in horror. I was awestruck. I took notes along the way. It took me about a week to get my material together for my weekly bible study. Word got out that it was going to be a “good one” and “don’t miss this talk” sort of thing. (This of course was orchestrated by the authorities in the church whom I had sought counsel from during the week and who were curious as to the execution of “their” knowledge and wisdom through me). It was a full house.

As I opened the study I acknowledged the help that I had received during the week from the pastors and from other church leaders. I gave a small testimonial about my walk for the “new faces” and then I stopped. I asked everyone to bow their heads in prayer. I will never forget what I said…

“Dear Lord, thank you for this day and thank you for the fruits of your labor. Your fruit gave us immediate satisfaction as well as eternal salvation. Through your fruit we tasted the sweetness and the bitterness of life and all it holds. Life and all it holds… We come here today to learn something new and something that may be uncomfortable to hear but needs to be said and learned…”

Then I just stopped. I never finished the prayer. I still haven’t. That was as far as I got.

I asked everyone to open their eyes. I asked everyone to raise their heads and asked everyone to look at me.

“I am a liar. I cannot do this anymore. I cannot lead you anymore. I am a liar because I have lied to each and every one of you here tonight. Even the new people. I am not a christian. I cannot be. I don’t believe. In fact, I never believed. I am very sorry, but I cannot do this anymore.”

With that I walked away.

Some people believed that that was part of my presentation (I tended to be somewhat dramatic at times) and expected me to return a few minutes later. I was told that people waited almost 15 minutes before they realized I had not only left the building but I had left the parking lot.

I never returned. I lost every single person I considered a friend. All of them. Not one left standing. Did that anger me? Eh. Not really. I expected that. I tried to reach out to go play some basketball or volleyball or baseball… Nothing. It was clear I was not welcomed. It took some time to adjust, I am not one to hold a grudge, but eventually I found comfort and most importantly the TIME to get to know my true self.

I am not angry with god. God is a made up thing that people needed a long, long time ago to understand life and to find hope when there wasn’t. It was created for and by man. I just can’t, and honestly, never could wrap my head around it anyway. I tried. Trust me I tried.

I am not saying that science has all the answers. It doesn’t. It falls short more often than it is “right”. I am fine with that. When two scientists get together and argue a point they argue and hope that either one will be correct or they will both discover something altogether new. Even if one of the scientists is “wrong” he still wins. If you get two opposing religious figures together this would never happen. Ever. It will inevitably lead to violence. My god vs. your god, right? Your beliefs vs. my beliefs…and so on.

I am not angry at god. I am happy with the life that I have. I happy that I can walk, talk, breathe, share, read, write, learn… there does not have to be a place to go after this life is over. I want to make THIS place the best place possible because it is the ONLY space we all share right now. If there is a heaven and I am not there, oh well. If there is a hell and I AM there… same thing. I want to concentrate on making THIS life the best possible.

I know that I lived my life as fully and as free as I could because quite frankly, this is the only one I KNOW I HAVE.

I want to urge you all to read the bible. I mean really read the bible, not in the devotional doses you are used to. Put those “out of context” verses into the context they come from. Read the story they were told in and how they were meant to be read.

Think of it like this… You are on a special diet. You find a cookbook on the sidewalk near a gas station. It is just sitting there. It sort of looks placed there, but why would anyone leave a cookbook on the sidewalk? You pick it up because you are on this new special diet. You leaf through the cookbook. You see a very delicious recipe. Problem is you can’t have the finished product. Most of the ingredients are prohibited on your new special diet. Then you have a bright idea. You will use substitute ingredients. You will take the ingredients you can use and discard the useless ones. You will regard yourself very intelligent. You have found a way to bake your lava flow without chocolate and without flow. Is it still Lava Flow? It is. It is because that is what you call it. Let it be Lava Flow.

Don’t take the ingredients (verses) you like and discard the ingredients (verses) you don’t like! You must read your bibles! All of you. You must go through the bible and take notes. Verse by verse. Chapter by chapter. Book by book. This will only strengthen your faith or show you something else. Are you afraid?

You should be. It will mean the undoing of chains and weights you have tied yourself to. It will liberate you. You will be free. But, freedom has a price. So does salvation, right?

I am sorry I “rambled” on and on. I do apologize.  But, as usual, you have the Last Word.

There is a Tooth Fairy.

The Tooth Fairy is a strong woman. Do not let the sound of her name fool you. She is powerful. She is able to lift children’s heads while they rest on a pillow and remove loose teeth and replace the loose teeth with coins or depending on the size or weight of the tooth she may leave paper money. I once heard she dropped 100 smackers for 2 huge molars. Nice.

What is there not to believe? I put a old bloody tooth under my pillow when I fell asleep. In the morning I found a quarter (it wasn’t that large of a tooth). This is not magic. This is real. I investigated this and it occurred more often than I thought and sometimes simultaneously around the globe. I know what you are going to say…Santa does the same thing. Yeah, sure, but Santa is not real. So no point in going there.

Reasons I KNOW there is a Tooth Fairy

There is written proof of her existence going back hundreds of years. It may be even longer, but people used to just throw the loose teeth away and the Fairy would be forced to leave the money where she found the tooth. Have you not ever wondered where the expression, “Throwing money away” originated? It was an oral traditional (see the oft-used expression as proof) that eventually led to some great men and women to record these incredible events for future generations.

The Tooth Fairy would only allow herself to be seen by the most “believing” and not by those who did not believe. I remember Keith, he was kid in my 2nd grade class, refusing to believe that the Tooth Fairy existed. When I lost BOTH front teeth I got a fifty-cent piece. I came to school the next day. I bought Keith an ice cream. I asked him if he liked it. He said yes. Good, because the Tooth Fairy gave me the money to buy that. Keith insisted that it was my mom or dad or something. I refused to believe because I found the money under my pillow. I experienced the wonder for myself. For kids who don’t believe, the Tooth Fairy jut skips their house. Parents, on the other hand, knowing that their child does not believe will try and drop coin in the middle of the night, but we all know that is just fakery and false. These parents just wish that their children would just believe, as they did. Alas…there is no mercy from the Tooth Fairy for those parents who do believe but their children do not.

How can so many of us be wrong? I mean there are hundreds (if not millions) of believers out there all across the globe? It is just sheer madness to NOT believe.

It is basically miraculous that she can be all over the place at the same time. The fact that she knows when the teeth fall out and how much each will be worth is just incredible! She can lift pillows (with heads on them) pick up teeth…drop coin… over and over again every night (not just once).

There are so many artistic representations of her too. You can’t tell me it’s made up if there are people painting her image!

Arguments against the facts

I already mentioned Santa Claus. That is so ridiculous I won’t even reply to that as it is just silly to compare the two. I would not be surprised to find out that the people behind the entire Santa Claus myth-building didn’t lift the concept of time-travelling and time/space bending from the Tooth Fairy. Here is another reason I KNOW that the Santa Claus “thing” is a myth. It is too simple. “He” only has to show-up one day of the year. Not even a full day. A few minutes. Plus he has rules. Rules? No rules with the Tooth Fairy. With “Santa” you have to sleep in a different room. With “Santa” you have to send him a letter. With “Santa” you have to leave him food. Yada-Yada-Yada. That is so silly.

This is the most common heard argument against the existence of the Tooth Fairy. “How come no one can see her now?” That is the easiest to answer. There is no time. There are so many, many, many more people on the planet that she has to work so fast you just can’t and she can’t just stop to “prove” her existence. She exists and that is that.

Does she “deliver” money to kids that are on the fence? The answer is yes. She is all knowing! She has to be! If she knows when the teeth are being dropped she must know that deep down inside the kid believes. This is further helped by parents who believe too.

Kids are doubters by nature. Kids ask questions and usually don’t stop until it makes sense to them. Ever been around a 4 year old? “Why is the sky blue?” When it comes to the Tooth Fairy, it is just something that exists and not questioned. It should never be questioned. There is no reason to doubt or to think it is just some ancient none-sense.

The most heretical question usually asked by an Atoothfairyists is, “PROVE SHE EXISTS.”

The answer is simple.

Prove their isn’t.